At our wedding, a little over 8 years ago.
Though this initially has the look of a sappy anniversary-type post, I can assure you, it is not. Well, at least not a typical sappy-love-of-my-life-type post.
I am married to an amazing man.
I don’t think that this is just my opinion, because he has a slew of friends who think he’s pretty cool, too, but how it plays out for me is as such: I have a whim, he executes it. This may mean tilling a potato patch by hand. Or getting married in Italy. Or building a new turkey coop. Or supporting my dream to write a cookbook, even when pursuing that dream meant not looking for better-paying work when we desperately needed me to have better-paying work.
He is a master of wordplay, a slapstick-style comedian, and a sensitive, caring friend. He can be lighthearted and fun when you need that, and deep and insightful when that’s what you require.There is a list of reasons why I love him, which I repeat to him frequently, but not frequently enough. He is industrious, he is a laugh-riot, he cares first about the people around him, he is a thinker, yet he can be base (and this, might I add, fools people into thinking he is not a thinker. Genius.). He drinks Budweiser. From cans. And Barolo. But only if it’s been decanted first. He gets just as geeked out as I do about Brockton beans, Marina di Chioggia squash, and Boothby Blonde cucumbers. He loves animals. He loves the ocean. He loves the outdoors, our garden, the Baltimore Orioles – the actual birds, not the baseball team, he is a Red Sox fan, of course – in their nest next to the garden, the barn swallows that fly so close to his head that they fluff his hair when they dive-bomb him while attempting to protect their babies in our barn, and the hummingbirds who have been rather scarce since the wisteria blooms faded.
Today, he and I are both very lucky that he continues to be all these things, embrace all these things, and, when he leaves the hospital, hopefully soon, enjoy all these things.
It’s nearly 1am. JR is asleep in the trauma ward in his light blue slightly funkier than standard-issue johnny – with an attempt at artiness, there are varying sizes of askew darker blue triangles printed all over it. His breath flows in and out, fluffing his mustache, and each breath makes me a little more weepy.
Driving down the highway this afternoon, returning from a job north of Boston, his truck was hit by an 18-wheeler. He hit another car, then the guardrail. His truck was so mangled, they used the Jaws of Life to extract him. Judging from the amount of dried blood that I washed off his face, arms, hands, and chest earlier tonight – this, after someone here at the hospital had done at least a cursory wash to be sure he was presentable to family – he must have been a very scary sight at the scene.
There are quite a few staples in the back of his head (I can’t count them, as he isn’t allowed to lift his head), his ribs are broken, and he has what the doctor called a “small” brain bleed. They tell me that this will heal in time, and I know that it will. Know that it will.
When I arrived here, the first thing he wanted to know is if everyone else was okay. That no one else was hurt, or killed. It took a few hours, but finally we learned that a med flight had been called for the accident. And that it had been called off. Because JR, the only injury in the accident, was alert, and stable enough to be transported by ambulance*.
With the relief of that news, he moved on. “They cut off my clothes,” he said. “Yeah, I can see that.” “Those were my favorite work pants.” “The blue polyester fake Dickies?” “Yep. Those ones. My favorite polyesters.”
So, like I said, I know that he’ll be fine. Because he’s still here, he’s still a smart-ass, and he is resilient.
And we, together, are very very lucky, indeed.
___________________________________________________________________________
I wrote this two nights ago. It’s been a scary time since Tuesday afternoon. No one prepares you for what happens after an accident, and the process of discovery about what happened to your loved one – my husband and best friend, in this case – is disjointed and stressful in the aftermath of an accident.
JR doesn’t remember what happened either, but what we do know is that he was driving on the highway in the low speed lane. He drives a utility pick-up truck for work, the sturdiness of the vehicle and the fact that he was wearing his seat belt probably saved him. As he came over the crest of a hill, he saw that the traffic in front of him was stopped. He jammed on the brakes, and the next thing he remembers, he was in the hospital.
He was hit squarely in the back end of his truck by that 18-wheeler, he ended up in the median. Having now seen the wreckage of his truck, I know it had to have been a horrific scene on the side of the highway, which was closed for 2 hours afterward.
He regained consciousness in the ambulance and has been alert since. He does have some memory issues, but is doing very well cognitively overall. He has 10 staples in his scalp (the doctor counted them yesterday afternoon), and the broken ribs. We really are lucky that he’s alive – and while I don’t want to understate his injuries, because he is most definitely injured, and will be recovering for a long time to come – given the severity of the accident, I consider him as good as having walked away unscathed.
We are home now. Yesterday, the doctor told us that ten years ago, JR’s brain bleed would have been called a concussion. Now, they have the tools to identify it more precisely, so brain bleed is what it is. As the doctor said, ten years from now, what we currently identify as concussions will probably be called something else because the technology will have evolved.
As I lay upstairs last night, with JR on the couch downstairs (he is relegated to the first floor to avoid climbing stairs for a while – to avoid dizziness and a possible fall), I realized that one reason (and possibly the only humanistic one at that) that people are sent home so early from the hospital – when you are sure – absolutely, one-hundred percent certain that you should be staying at least another night – is that there is nothing, really nothing in the world at all, more comforting than seeing your loved one at home. In your world. Injured, hurting, exhausted – but home.
Lucky, indeed.
*we determined, with the help of JR’s brother, who is an EMT, that he must have been conscious at the accident scene for them to transport him by ambulance, rather than med flight. However, with the head injury, he doesn’t remember being awake until the staples were being put into his scalp at the hospital.
oh my goodness! what a scare! glad to hear he’s ok. What a miracle that there weren’t more injured or he wasn’t hurt worse.
What a scare, but you manged to write such a lovely post to let us know about it. I do hope he will recover quickly.
What a post! I’m so sorry that this accident happened to your husband but so very happy to read that he not only survived but has a very good prognosis for a full recovery. I know how scary it is to have someone home from the hospital with a long road of healing ahead of them, yet you are so grateful to have them home and close to you.
Yes, you are both lucky and blessed to share the love that you do and to be and I know it may sound strange, to be going through this recovery period together. I think you understand what I’m trying to say.
God bless you both and God’s speed to your husband for a full recovery.
Hi Amy, I hope JR is doing well. You two have a beautiful relationship and I know that your love will help set him on a road to recovery.
LOVE.
Do you need any chores outsourced? I’m close enough!
Will pray,
Christine
Amy, I’m sorry to hear about JR’s accident, and also so very glad to hear he’s OK. You are both in my thoughts and best wishes to JR for a speedy recovery.
Oh, wow. So sorry to hear this but so glad that he escaped relatively unscathed and can recuperate at home with you. Sending good thoughts your way.
So sorry you both had to go through this, but so glad that you both are indeed relatively lucky. I wish you BOTH a speedy recovery, because it’s hard to be the loved one of the injured, too.
As a bonus, you wrote beautifully and movingly (I teared up just a little) about it all without being sappy. I hope you two have many more years of good honest love.
Jeez, Amy, I’m shaking reading this. So, SO glad that JR came out of this so well, and that he’s on the road to recovery. Big hugs (gentle ones) to you both.
Christi, thank you so much. It really was a miracle – we are so thankful!
Kalyn, thank you for your kind words!
Paula, thank you, and I do know what you mean. I’m happy to have the time, too.
Kaitlin, Thank you so much!
Christine, you are so sweet – thank you! I really appreciate it!
Kate, thank you!
RL, thank you! It’s really amazing that he’s in as good shape as he is – I am so thankful.
Ann, thank you so much. I teared up writing it, as you might imagine. I had to do something in the hospital room, because my thoughts were running away with me. It’s good to get it out, as you know.
Jen, thank you so much. It was a bit more scare than I’d ever like again, but we are so, so lucky to be home, just recovering. It could have been a much worse outcome. I hope that you’re feeling well and looking forward to Sproggy’s arrival in September!
Oh my gosh. I am SO sorry this happened, but I’m so glad that you’re both okay. My thoughts are with you both!
Oh Amy, how frightening! I am so relieved for you and JR that it turned out no worse than it did. I send you both my best and certainly hope that JR’s recovery is as smooth and quick as possible.
I felt chills all over reading this- so glad he is recovering! I’m a lucky girl too and would be inconsolable if something happened to my husband (of almost 15 years). All the best to you both!
Proves that life can change on a dime. Appreciate those in your life and be thankful every day.
Oh sweetie, I am so glad that JR is doing ok. I know you will take good care of Him but don’t forget to take care of you too.
Oh goodness. I’m late to the party put still sending love your way. Love following your adventures and very glad that this one had a happy ending!
Hi. Today was the first time since “meeting you” on Twitter a few weeks ago that I have had to check out your blog. Just busy with everyday stuff–ya know? It was heartfelt. I cried. It reminded me of all the things to be greatful for in my life. And reminded me not to forget them even when life is busy. God bless you both. I will be back. Sending good vibes your way. Lisa
Amy I’m so sorry to hear about the accident! I’m very glad to hear he’s doing well. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
I’m so sorry this happened. But it sounds as if you both have wonderful perspectives (and love!) and I’m sure that will help in his recovery. Sending you many good, healing thoughts.
Many good and healing thoughts from Maine to you and J.R..
Amy,
I did not know…so forgive my lapse in sending prayers and best wishes for a speedy recovery so belatedly.
You have already been blessed that it was not any worse and that you can still forge a future together. Thanks goodness. Take good care…of both of you.
MJ, thank you so much!
Elizabeth, we are so relieved, too. Thank you!
Christine, thank you! Inconsolable is the word that comes to mind for me, too. I am grateful every moment of every day that inconsolable was avoided.
Pogen1, so well said – I agree. Thank you!
Janis, sweetie, we WILL get together soon – thank you for the support!
Sucar, Thank you!
Lisa, thank you so much for the kind words and positive vibes!
Rachel, thank you so much, sweetie!
Lisa, thank you for the healing thoughts! We’re both feeling very lucky, that’s for sure!
S., Thank you!
Barb, no worries at all! Thank you for the kind words. You’re right, we are so incredibly fortunate to have a future together. I still can’t find the words to explain it, aside from lucky or fortunate, but it’s more than that. xoxo!
Thank you all – the positive thoughts and kind words have meant so much to us through this ordeal.
xoxo!
I only just found your blog, and how fab I must say. What a lovely post you have written about your lovely hubby and how terrifying it must have been for you not knowing if he was ok or not.
Good to hear he is home with you x
Wishing you husband a speedy recovery and thanks to his Guardian Angels for looking after him for you.
Oh my! Amy, I’ve clearly got to keep up with you on a more regular basis! I’m sorry you and JR even had to go through what I imagine to be a very scary and emotional time. So thankful for the outcome! Certainly hope JR’s recovery is going well, and that you both can settle back in a more normal routine sooner than later. Do take care! Mac
I am so sorry to hear about the accident and yet I am so thankful for you that he wasn’t hurt worse than he was, it’ll take a while but it sounds like he’ll be all right in a few weeks. We were in a car accident a few years ago turned out fine but I talked to a witness later apparently I was awake and talking (or screaming) the whole time. I still don’t remember anything but that’s probably for the best. Hope he recovers just as well as we did, though broken ribs sound awful, he is lucky to have you to take care of him!